Confrontation, conversation, negotiation

Today’s Daily Prompt: Fight or Flight. When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in? Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?

I’ve been thinking a lot about (quiet) leadership, conflict and negotiation, action and reaction lately.   Interpersonal dynamics fascinate me.

There have been plenty of situations in the past when I wished I’d confronted people immediately instead of just letting things either fester or drop.  So I’m practicing facing up to these things in the moment where appropriate.  But there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking time to assess the ‘big picture’ of a situation thoroughly instead of reacting, then being proactive in improving or changing the situation (for yourself) instead.

Currently I’m (re) reading a great book related to this principle.  It’s called Never Turn Away by Rigdzin Shikpo.  Highly recommended.

Personally, I am not confronted often.  When people call me on my shit – and if it’s valid – I actually really appreciate it.  Every now and then I am a big freaking brat and I need to be straightened out.

I’m not triggered often, but when I am it’s …interesting.  I will not *fight* back in an obvious way.  I’m more likely to rise above it, sometimes in a real way, occasionally in a self-righteous and smug way that doesn’t really solve things but sometimes makes me feel more empowered (I like to call this the “friendly fuck you”).  This feeling – although it is ego-based – will eventually bring me back down to a level of confidence and clarity to deal with the situation from a more grounded perspective.

Mostly, though, I just want to have a real, honest conversation that evolves towards some resolution, and ideally improves the relationship between the two parties.   When someone is willing and able to do this with me, especially about difficult topics…wow.  It means so much.

Recently I’ve been getting bolder, especially in dealing with negative people and situations.  But this boldness is almost never confrontational.  My normal reaction is to recede into my shell and analyze the situation and/or talk it through, really understand the bigger picture, and (strategically) work from there.

I can’t say much more here about the strategic part.  But I do need you to trust me when I say I will never act with evil intent.  I may make the odd mistake, but when it comes down to it I will always lead with the heart, and I will do what’s best for me and the greater good.

khaleesi

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Failure does not exist (but unicorns do)

Today’s DP: Tell us about something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail (and tell us why you haven’t tried it yet).

Failure?  What is this failure you speak of?  I don’t really believe in that word, and don’t use it.  I prefer to follow Yoda’s wisdom: “Do or do not, there is no try.”  I really do see everything as a journey, rather than classifying events and situations into categories such as ‘success’ or ‘failure’.

Two other words I’ve stopped using are ‘broke’ and ‘fat’.  As in, I’m not referring to myself as either anymore, ever, not even in my head.  I’d recommend this kind of exercise to anyone..but let’s move back over to the topic, which I’m going to reframe as:

“Talk about a batshit crazy/seemingly impossible idea that you have that if you pursued it would completely change your life.”

Recently I dressed up in this sassy unicorn costume for a party.  I loved it.  I channeled this – well, really social and outgoing and fun and kind of magical person (which I  guess I am, except that I identify as an introvert by nature so it is really super empowering when I feel that way).

Wow, I sound really full of myself right now…OK so, without ego, moving on.

So my completely awesome / batshit crazy idea is to be a unicorn for a year and blog about it.  I’m not joking: I’d get some press, get some followers, and basically travel around the world writing about my uinicorny adventures.  I wouldn’t necessarily be ‘in costume’ all of the time, although being in costume some of the time would be part of the deal.  unicorns

Part of what I’d be doing is getting my hands dirty in different projects, volunteering in community development projects and the like.  Other parts would be getting involved in intentional communities/community initiatives, creative projects, etc.  The hope would be that I could learn enough to take on more of a leadership role in this capacity later in life.

Plus, I would also be focused on spreading random (magical) acts of kindness.  You know…the usual.

Sounds ridiculous right?  But, the point really would be to be footloose and spreading awesomeness, exploring the world, helping people, having fun.  In other words, really living…which is probably the least crazy thing that one can do for oneself and the world.

The whole idea is a little (OK, a lot) grandiose, but I’m taking baby unicorn steps… (hell yeah!)

For the love of unconventional love

Today’s Daily Prompt asks to talk about the most unconventional love in your life/to post a picture that says unconventional.

I have so many things to say about this…too much, in fact! I have journals overflowing with entries about (unconventional) love.  I have many poems completed, fiction to write and songs to compose. But it’s too much and too personal for today.

In the interest of sharing my love for the beach, long photo walks and watching dogs play, I’m sharing a photo instead, since it’s both unconventional in itself and supports a kind-of-less-conventional-love.

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