Hi everyone: meet Smuuuuudgge (aka Schmo, Smudgella, Schmoley, Schmolina, Poohead, Boobface, Sweetie, etc.). You have to say it in one of those really silly ridiculously high-pitched voices that girls tend to use when they are talking to pets or babies.
I’ve had her since before she was born, and I believe she turns 17 this year! She was the runt, but is huge. Her mother (who was also my cat), never taught her to hunt, and she’s always been a sweet, gentle thing. Never a fighter, more likely to run and hide.
We’ve been through a lot together: moved to a few different places, lived with a few different cats, boyfriends, roommates. I’ve also discovered I’m allergic to her, so I’ve had to minimize contact in many ways.
She is a handful, and I get irritated at her frequently: she poops in the corner daily, she scratches at my door every night at 3am. She is whiney, crotchety, scruffy, eyes and ears no doubt failing. She has arthritis and weird warts that are making her fur into gross sticky little dreads. She snores. She is getting more and more senile — sometimes I catch her just meowing loudly into a corner. I wish I knew what she wanted!
She’s been overweight forever, ever since she was in a house full of cats when she was much younger: I honestly think she ate the other cat’s food out of insecurity! I have tried to put her on diets, but now she is old, food is one of her few pleasures and I just feed her little bits whenever. I feed her good quality food and I think that has been key to her relatively decent health.
There was one time years ago where she was missing, and we found out that she crawled through this teeny little hole under the front steps. I could hear her meowing, but I could not get her out. When I found her, her back legs weren’t moving. I was terrified that she was paralyzed – and the vet that we saw didn’t know at first either.
As it turns out she had just damaged her tendons very severely and eventually started to walk again. Yup, she’s a tough little cookie!
The thing is, I love her like crazy. She has been this constant companion, and she is just so bloody cute and sweet. She practically purrs on command, and she gets really excited when I whistle. The way she rubs against things (really hard) is also just so cute, and the way she turns in circles as I feed her (she whines for food many, many times a day).
Even though it makes my nose itchy and breaks my concentration, I love how she lies down on the floor with me, purring loudly and rolling around playfully when I do stretching.
She always crams her cheeks into my extended fingers, essentially forcing me scratch her. It is the cutest thing ever.
I have lived alone alot, and she has been my most constant companion even through dark times, sometimes coming up to me with such love and innocence, and the loudest purr ever, during a darkest hour.
I think she’ll be my last pet, at least for a long time.
I love you Smudge!