The year is drawing to a close. What would you put in a 2012 time capsule?
I see images of warm-fuzzy memories inside clear Christmas ornaments, or the kind of rainbow bubbles that form from those gigantic wands. They are transparent and drifting upwards, dancing on currents of wind.
I spent much of this past year navigating through a partnership that in many regards was so sweet and loving, but in the end the tumultuous parts overcame us. Regardless, I learned to love deeply and appreciate the present moment with another person in a way that I never had before. I learned so much about myself this year.
When I think of the warm moments that came alongside having a serious partner, I try to remember how those feelings came about and how I can still achieve that kind of joy without / external to a relationship.
I’ve learned that I don’t have to be ‘in love’ to be loving and joyful.
The things below are some that are worth holding onto:
Photo walks. I would (we would) go on random excursions to different parts of the city and some of my favorite photos came from those days. I have mostly done this alone throughout my life, but last year was happy when I had company. I suppose the photos actually are on the ‘time capsule’ that is my hard drive!
Hugs. If I could capture the warmth in the hugs that I have given and received (with everyone, not just my ex), in order to access them sometime in the future when I was alone and really needed one…that would be amazing.
Cooking. This was the year that I really learned to take pleasure in cooking and sharing a meal with another, even when (especially when) there was no money for anything else. Some of my favorite memories from last year were the times when we cooked and appreciated that abundance: I (we) felt so broke and stressed about it, but there was always enough.
My apartment. I moved into a 1 bedroom apartment about a year ago and really enjoyed most aspects of sharing it with my partner when he was living with me. I liked having the company, and I loved that when I did cook or do chores, there was someone else around to appreciate it. He also inspired me to invest in some nicer furniture and things, something that I’ve never really prioritized until this past year. Now alone, I’m continuing to (re) create my living space into one that looks more ‘adult’ and truly makes me feel happy, safe and comfortable. And I’m grateful every day for the stellar neighbors and location!
Bike rides. I met and got to know many people this past year on some long group bike rides, exploring the city, listening to music and laughing. There were moments on those rides that I felt truly free. The exercise and fresh air made me happy too.
The beach. I hope to visit or live near a new beach in the year (s) to come, but will never forget our Vancouver views.
Writing. This was the year that I started to blog regularly and realized how freeing it is.
Since I can’t literally put these ‘feeling’ moments into a material time capsule, I will store them here. This blog is the way that I’m capturing the good moments as I realign my life into 2013 — bring it on, future!