This morning a coworker commented on how I ‘look glazed over’. Throughout my life I’ve heard similar things from people: “you look…” (tired, glazed, spacey). I think that they sometimes assume that I’m daydreaming, slacking, not paying attention or uninterested.
When this happens, I worry that I appear unintelligent, and I feel underestimated (especially at work), because in reality there is always ALOT going on in my brain! I am often paying attention to multiple (complex) groups of ideas while also being very aware of my external environment. I really want to tell this to people to try to ‘alert’ me of things that I know are coming (yes, mom, I am actually getting out of the way of that wheelchair even though I’m not actually looking that way!).
Instead of taking personal offence to these observations, I’ve decided to use them constructively.
What does it say about how people percieve me? When am I actually not clear? Can I ‘fake it till I make it’ to get more focussed? How can I work towards a lifestyle that truly brings me more day-to-day clarity?
One conclusion that I have come to is that I need more opportunities to express and act on the really great ideas, while creating the space to let go of the negative-analytical thought patterns.
After having realized this, I decided to make a list of moments when my mind has felt clear lately:
1. When I’m at the pool. Going swimming (hottub, sauna) absolutely clears my head, whether I’m by myself or not.
2. During a long walk in a natural setting.
3. While taking photos. The photo at the top of this post was taken during a long morning walk by the ocean. Just looking at it and remembering how I felt at that moment brings me a sense of peace. I just love the way the water looks.
4. When I’m writing, editing, proofreading (etc). Writing this post is absolutely uncluttering my brain!
5. At work: when I’m more social or involved in teamwork.
6. When people ask me for help and I’m able to offer an absolute yes.
What things don’t bring me clarity: envy, negative/analytical thinking, watching TV for long periods of time, surfing the internet for hours, making too many to-do lists, a messy house, fighting with my boyfriend, spending money.
Maybe being perceived as a ‘space cadette’ is not the worst thing in the world, because it’s pushing me further towards being the person that I want to be, on the inside and on the outside. It’s forcing me to bring more peace and clarity in my brain (and heart). After all, when my mind is peaceful and clear, this must show too.
Do you have a ‘moments of clarity’ list? Can you acknowledge where these moments of clarity come, whether at work, home, or play? How do you integrate more peace into your life regularly?
Thank you for reading.